Asuran Zala's guide to teenage girls!
by In-Case-Of-Dragons
Summary: Asuran and Cagalli are married with a two children! Asuran can handle battles, gundams, technology, but maturing girls? Not something he’s good with! COMPLETED
1. Rule Number 1: PMS

Aura: Ok Gundam Seed is my new craze!

Asuran: Unfortunately….

Aura: **whacks him**

**Summery: Asuran and Cagalli are married with a daughter! Asuran can handle battles, gundams, technology, but maturing girls? Not something he's good with! When Cagalli goes away on a business trip, Asuran is left with their 13-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son!**

* * *

Asuran stood on the doorstep with his two children, and prayed to the God's that he'd still be alive when Cagalli returned! Cagalli kissed everyone goodbye, giving Asuran a kiss that made their daughter cover he brothers eyes and turn away in disgust. Cagalli climbed into the Taxi with her luggage and waved and the driver started the car. The Zala family waved back and slowly made their way into the house, shutting the door behind them.

The next day was a school day. A Monday to be precise, which meant that Asuran had to drag the kids out of bed and get them ready……BY HIMSELF! He ran frantically around the house gathering everything he could. He ran up stairs and dragged his son, Hiroshi, out of bed. Hiroshi looked exactly like his father! It was uncanny, the resemblance! He blinked up at his father, still half asleep, and slowly stood up. He shuffled out the door, dragging the cover with him. Asuran then ran too Mine's (Meenay's.) room. He knocked on the door. Mine was exactly like Cagalli, personality wise! She also had scruffy blonde hair, a little longer than Cagalli's, that she always wore in a high ponitail. The only thing different about Mine was that she had Asuran's eye colour! When Mine didn't answer him, he walked in. He instantly regretted it.

" DAAAAAAAAAAAD! GET OUT OF MY ROOOOOOOOOOOM!" Random objects came flying at him. He dived on the ground.

" I can see you're up then! I'll just leave and-"

There was a thunderous crash.

" Ow…" A voice called.

" – Save you're brother!" Asuran ran out of his daughter's room.

Bump…Bump…Bump…SMASH.

" Hiro-"

THUMP

" Dad you're gonna kill me- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

"…………Hiro…it ended a while ago…" Asuran said. Mine leaned over the banister to see Hiroshi and Asuran in a heap of coats on the floor at the bottom off the stairs, the coat stand on top of them. She sighed.

Ten minutes later a bleeding Asuran and a concussed Hiroshi were finally ready to go. But of cause, nothing ever goes right at the beginning of a fic!

" Hold up, I really need to gotta go to the bathroom again!" Mine said and ran back to the bathroom. Asuran and Hiroshi sighed and stood by the doorway. They were already 30 minuets late for school, Hiroshi had a mild concussion and Asuran had missed a very important meeting!

'Things can't get any worse!' They both thought. Slowly, on Hiroshi's part but hey, what'd ya' expect! Mine's high pitched screamed reverberated though the house. Asuran ran to the bathroom door and kicked it down. There stood Mine, panties in hand, sobbing hysterically.

" Daddy! I'm bleeding to death!"

This was soooooo not Asuran's day!

Hiroshi fell over laughing so hard that he almost wet himself. Had he been in the right state of mind, he would have understood her suicidal it was. Asuran looked at his sobbing daughter nervously.

" Um…well…There comes a time were every girl starts her-"

" I KNOW THAT! BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

" Um…didn't they tell you that too?"

" BAKA! I MEAN WHY NOW!" She ran upstairs and locked herself in her mothers' bathroom.

Asuran sighed completely giving up with school and work. He walked over to the phone and dialled the familiar number.

" Hey, Lacus, could you come over for a bit?"

" Sure, what's up?"

" Well it's Mine…she was in the bathroom, she screamed and I came running and-"

"Say no more! I'll be there right away! "

" Should I like…buy some sanitary things for her?"

" NO! I will do that with her! Rule number 1 Asuran Zala**: Never get involved with your teenage daughters Period** **unless she ask's you too**!"

* * *

Sooooooo what'd ya think! First Gundam Seed story! This is going to go around all the SEED characters with Daughters!

I picked the kids names by their meanings!

Mine: A resolute Protector.

Hiroshi: Generous

Cool huh? Anyway Second chapter should be up soon!


	2. Rule Number 2: Birds and Bees

Aura: I'm Back! I have 10 REVIEWS ALREADY! YAY! Thank you all soooooo much! Snuggles to death

Miriallia: Hands everyone basket of Cookies.

Aura: Thank you Milly! Sob's hysterically

Lacus: pats There, there…

Asuran: Rolls eyes

Kira: Uh…all this is written in Asuran's' point of view!

Cagalli: Just so you can see how he thinks!

Dearka: …Is that something we really want to know?

Asuran: **strangles him**

* * *

Why did I ever agree to this! Honestly! Cagalli has a lot more power over me than she things she does! After everything that has happened to me the past few days, I decided that I should right my own guide to dealing with this sort of thing just so I can give all other poor, misguided men who's wives left them alone with the hormonally raging daughters, all the advice they need to survive the week! Maybe I should tell you exactly what happened after I called Lacus that fateful Monday Morning. 

I stood cautiously at Cagalli's Bathroom door. I had an ear pressed against it, talking through it at Mine.

" Auntie Lacus will be here soon honey…she is going to help you-"

" DAD! Everywhere I look I see sheep!" Hiroshi came running up the stairs Right at the wrong moment! I turned my head just as Mine opened the door. It hit me so hard I think I might have had concussion too!

" Itai!" I rubbed my wound and looked up to see Mine poking her head around the door! To my horror I saw two of her! MY WORLD IS OVER! Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter but…TWO Mine's?

" R-Really…" She looked so sweet at that point that all evil thoughts left my mind! With that the doorbell rang and Mine rushed downstairs. I stood up and helped Hiroshi walk down stairs, without killing himself, to meet Lacus and, surprisingly enough, Kira! Lacus and Mine rushed off too the bathroom just as we got to the door. Kira looked at the blood running down my head and the wobbling, delusional creature that was once my son.

" Man, what happened to you two!" He asked blinking.

" Don't ask…could you please run Hiroshi to the Hospital!" Was the only thing I could mange to say! Cagalli was going to murder me when she came home on Sunday to find the battlefield her house had become!

" Uh…sure, why not…" Kira nodded his head and picked Hiroshi up. When he left I made sure that I had cleaned up the blood on the bathroom door, the stairs, and the landing and I had picked up the coats again. The house looked humane once again!

Moments later, Lacus and Mine emerged from the bathroom, happy as ever! Almost as if nothing happened today! They were talking and laughing and playing…oh the good old days! The days when Hiroshi and Mine were so small all they could do was gurgle! I miss those days…

" Remember everything I told you and please don't kill your father! He doesn't understand girls!" Lacus said calmly, obviously lying to make Mine feel better…right?

" Ok! But what about mother?" Mine asked. Yeah Lacus, what about Cagalli!

" She's a Tomboy so she only half counts!" I could have killed Lacus at this point, but I restrained myself by imagining Cagalli's slim figure, so not boyish at all…

" Asuran…? Asuran you're drooling…" Lacus waved her hand in my face. I snapped out of my daze and looked down at Mine.

" Well…I suppose I'll have to give her that 'Birds and the Bees' talk huh…" I sighed and looked at the looks of utter disgust on Mine's face. Huh…what did I do wrong?

" EWWWW! DAD!" She threw a near by vase at my head!

"NOOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S YOUR MOTHERS FAVORITE VASE!" I screamed and ducked. Mine ran upstairs and slammed her bedroom door. God, I'm taking that thing of its hinges!

So that's what happened there…after that, Lacus turned to me and said.

" **Rule number 2 Asuran Zala: Never try and talk to a girl about Sex, leave that to her ****Mother**!"

* * *

Well thats that! 


	3. Rule Number 3: The Daughters Boyfriend

Aura: WOW! You like me! You really, really like me! Thank you to all 17 people who reviewed me story! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Yzak: Calm down you stupid when-

Aura: **kills him…or at least tries to…**

Asuran: Yeah…right…fine…anyway, what's with my daughter hating me!

Lacus: She doesn't hate you! She loves you, she really does!

Cagalli: Yeah! You just broke those little rules of common sense!

Dearka: ….O.O YOU know the rules?

Cagalli: **Throttles him**

Miriallia: **sighs** Don't worry Cagalli, he's just jealous because **he** doesn't know the rules!

Kira: Um…on with the story!

* * *

Well I should get back to that Monday of horrors shouldn't I. Anyway, Lacus bandaged my head, which was good because I only just remembered it was there! After that she ran upstairs to Mine. Peace and quiet…oh how I love silence! Moments later though, the door bell rang… 

I got up and answered the door. A teenage boy stood on the doorstep.

" Hey, is Mine home?" He looked kinda familiar…Wait he looked like Dearka…with Miriallias' eye colour…OH! It was Kanaye! Just how much blood had I lost?

" Yeah…she's home! Shouldn't you be at school?"

" Yeah, but I was worried about Mine so Dad said to go to her!"

" Oh he did, did he…?" Remind me to tell Miriallia about this later…the only thing in the world that could wipe the smile off Dearkas' face was his wife when she was angry. I sighed and allowed him to walk into my house. He started to make his way upstairs to Mine's room…wait…a teenage boy, in my teenage daughters room…OMFG! But wait, Lacus is with them so it should be fine!

" Asuran, is it ok if me and Mine eat the last of the Chocolate Ice Cream?" Lacus asked from the kitchen.

" Sure go ahead…OOOOOOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Lacus was in the kitchen, which meant she wasn't upstairs (duh!), which meant that Kanaye and Mine were alone up there!

I ran as fast as my dizzy Coordinator body would let me! I burst in the door to see Mine and Kanaye…making out!

" KANAYE!" I picked upMines' twirling Baton (which she never actually twirls by the way! She just threatens people with it!) and chased Kanaye down the stairs with it, waving it like a Madman! Kanaye ran so fast I swear he was a blur! He ran right past Kira and Hiroshi who just entered the porch.

" Was it Flash, the man of Speed?" Asked Hiroshi in a very (fake) dramatic voice. As I came running past them I shouted.

" KANAYE! DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER AGAIN OR I **SWEAR TO GOD** YOU WILL **NEVER** HAVE CHILDREN!"

The silence after that was choking!

" Dude, rule 3 Asuran Zala: **Never threaten to kill your daughter boyfriend!**"

This just wasn't my day. I heard Mine open her bedroom door and scream at me.

" DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! I HATE YOU! I'M NEVER GOING TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!"

…Well at least I have my son. Time to tell him a very important fact!

" Hiroshi, you know how I want your sister to date only the good guys? Well, I want you to be a good guy!"

"…You want me to date my sister! EWWW!" And…he ran upstairs to his room.

Things just get worse as they go!

" Asuran…come live with me for a while!" KIRA I LOVE YOU! …But I love Cagalli more…XP

" I can't…I have to prove to Cagalli that I can do this!"

" Yeah…you can do what ever you want after we've been to the hospital!"

Heh heh…I did lose a lot of blood…

* * *

Aura: Well that's Chapter 3! Next will be Terible Tuesday! I'm going through the days of the week! If you have any ideas, please put them in a review!

Kanaye: Zealous one!


	4. Rule Number 4: Separate Lives

Aura: Well here's chapter 4!

Miriallia: Wow! You're on a role today!

Aura: XD I know!

Asuran: **glares at Dearka**

Dearka: **glares back, but smiling at the same time**

Lacus and Cagalli: …uh oh… **scoot backwards.**

Kira: Oh dear…on with the story!

* * *

The next day, Hiroshi was no longer concussed, my head was almost healed and Mine was on speaking terms with me! She wasn't going to be after she finds out what I did to Kanaye! 

I dropped Hiroshi and Mine at school and was on my way to work when an idea struck me! I turned around and drove back to the school. I phoned my secretary and told her to tell my staff that is wasn't going to be in again today. I then phoned the principle of Mines school, Destiny High.

" Hello Principle Ramius speaking."

" Hey Muurue, it's Asuran! Do you think it'd be ok if I did a Sex Education talk today?"

" Sure, why not? What's the suddenly teaching spark you have here?"

" Don't ask, it's a long story!"

" Ok, I'll see you in a bit!"

With that I entered the school with an evil glint in my eyes.

* * *

" Hey Mine! Did you here!" The 14-year-old Haru called as he and his twin sister, Shina ran to Mine. I saw them and hid behind a locker. Shina had really long pink hair and beautiful Violet eyes, just like her father's! Haru had Brown hair and blue eyes. He looked so much like Kira; anybody who saw Hiroshi and Haru together would swear they were looking at Kira and me! 

" What is it?" Mine asked blinking at the Yamato twins.

" I heard that Uncle Asuran is doing a Sex Ed. Talk today!" Shina said with a worried expression. God she was Lacus in the making!

"………**WHAT**!"

Darn them! Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it-

" Mr Flaga told us!" Haru said with a sheepish grin.

………DAMN HIM! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM, HE IS A DEAD MAN!

The shrill sound of the bell rang, right above my head. DAMN those things are loud! The kids all ran off to their classes. Ha ha! My chance has come!

**

* * *

In the Classroom**

* * *

" You can all be happy today cause I'm not teaching you!" Muu La Flaga said to his class cheerfully. 

" Instead you have, Mr Asuran Zala!"

When I walked in, the amount of cheers was deafening! Not because Muu was a bad teacher, but because, as one strange, sluty looking girl stated, ' I'm a lot dreamier than Mr Flaga!' I could already see that maybe this was a bad idea! Right at the back of the classroom, I could see Mine sink into her seat, trying to not be noticed. I could also see Kanaye trying to hide from me. Oooooh the torture I could do in this very room…

" Well class, to start the lesson, I'm just going to say a few rules to the males of this class." I glared at the back of the classroom. Kanaye gulped.

" Girls, if your fathers do this, then it's purely for your sake! I need a volunteer…hmmm… I know, Mr Elsman! Come to the front please!"

He reluctantly got up.

" Well as you know, Fathers are very protective of their daughters! There're certain rules that you most follow to make the father like you! They are as followed: -

**Rule One: **If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up!

**Rule Two: **You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything **below** her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter body, I **will** remove them!

**Rule Three: **I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I **WILL** kill you.

**Rule Four: **I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make **YOU** cry.

And last but most Defiantly not least!

**Rule Five: **The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies, which feature chainsaws, are okay. Hockey games are okay!

You will repeat these rules until you memorise them off by heart!"

Silence rang in the classroom, broken only by Muu hysterically laughing from the corner of the room!

" Um…sir-"

" Repeat the rules!" As poor Kanaye tried to repeat the rules, I wrote them on the board.

" Everyone will write these out until you have remembered them! And girls, if you're boyfriends break **ANY** of these rules, make sure to tell your fathers!"

Mine growled, picked up her textbook and threw it at me! God, when I was young I was absolutely terrified of my father! I would never do anything like this! I ducked and grabbed the book before it hit me.

" DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! I HATE YOU!"

She got up and ran out the room. Muu was still laughing hysterically but stopped long enough to say:

" Rule number 4 Asuran Zala: **Never try and be a teacher at your daughters school! Keep your home life and school life separate**!"

* * *

Aura: Well that's chapter 4 done! WEEEEEEEEEEE! Hey, about children, what do you think I should do about Muurue and Muus' kids! They are married but Muurue was already principle so she let everyone keep calling her Ramius to make life easier! If there is anything you would like me to put in, don't hesitant to ask! 

Yzak: Nobody actually reads this you know!

Aura: They do too!

Yzak: Do not!

Aura: Do too!

Yzak: DO NOT!

Aura: DO TOO!

Miriallia: Ok, brake it up! Some people read it, others don't! That's your answer! Happy now?

Aura: **sighs **Fine...

**Shina: Virtue, good**

**Haru: Born in spring**


	5. Rule Number 5: Displaying Love

Aura: I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Miriallia…O.o uh…'kay…

Yzak: I hate you!

Aura: I hate you too! I've always hated you!

Yzak: Listen up Molly Menopause; I need you to quiet the hell down! You're scaring everyone in the hospital! I mean, my god, they're delivering a baby upstairs and the poor kid is using the umbilical cord to crawl the hell back in!

Aura: Oooooh! Who's having a baby! Wait…did you just call me Molly Menopause?

Yzak: YES!

Aura: …I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD!

**Full out fight inserted here**

Kira: Oh my God! Anyway, on to chapter 5!

* * *

After the very embarrassing Sex Education talks with my daughters' class and her boyfriend, I decided to go have a talk with Muurue! Of course even that simple task was hard!

"So, in other words there is no permanent historical record of the birth of my friend's baby!" Muurues' voice rang out through the halls.

"I think that the baby itself would serve as proof that it was... you know... born…!" Another female voice replied. I turned the corner to see Muurue having a conversation with Miriallia and some other women. A blond girl I didn't recognise!

" It's not my fault! I'm a Model! I don't film! Now tell me, does this lipstick make me look like a clown? "

" No, Barbie, no. It makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively **to **clowns!" Miriallia replied giving the girl a glare. " Muurue, are you sure you want her to be you're dance representative!"

" No…but what am I suppose to do with her! She's a model, and she's good at what she does! If she can teach ballet to the girls, we could give them a lot more options in dance!" Muurue sighed and spotted me. She winked but then pretended I wasn't there! I suppose it was so I could watch what was going on! Not that I cared but…I had a feeling I was going to witness a fight!

" Well I refuse to photograph this girl!" Miriallia screamed.

" Well I refuse to work for you!" The sluty blond flipped her hair in Millie's face.

" Blond Bimbo!"

" Ginger!"

" That's not an insult! And anyway, you're stupid!"

" Is that it?"

" Give it time, it'll eat at you!" Miriallia pushed the girl out the front door. Thank God for that! She sounded like…that Fllay girl! Muurue laughed and walked over to me.

" She hates her! Miriallia absolutely hates her! She hate's her from the bottom of her hooves to the top of her pitchfork! God she detests her!"

" I could tell! Anyway, could you answer something for me?"

" Sure, what is it?"

I hesitated but I had to ask someone!

" What are these 'Rules' everyone keep's telling me! They all involve my daughter!" The look she gave me was one of pure amusement!

" Oh those! Those are the rules of Father Daughter Relationships!" She laughed and looked at me with a face that just screamed I'm-not-actually-going-to-tell-you-anything-because-it'll-be-fun-for-you-to-find-out-yourself! No fair! Suddenly I was distracted by the sound of singing. It was coming from the room next to me! I peeked through the door! I saw Shina singing beautifully as always! Next Mine walked up. Dear lord she's not gonna sing is she!

**Hakanaku chitta hikari ga**

**Bokura wo ima yobi samasu**

**Kanashimi wa oto wo tate**

**Kieru ano basho kara**

Wow…………… she can sing something that doesn't resemble a drowned cat!

**Ikuzo wake up michi naru mirai he**

**Sa mukau kaze ni hane hirogete**

**It's a futatsu to nai chikara umidashi tobi tatsu**

**Fuan PURASU PRIDE mune ni fly**

And It's one of Cagalli's favourites!

**Samayou sadame kasuka ni egao furete**

**Dakiau kono shunkan**

**Fukaku aisuru yuuki to kibou tsuyoku**

**Kanjiru kono kioku ga**

**Karamiau kokoro to KOKORO wo tsunaide**

**Ugoki dashiteru**

Wait! Where'd Muurue go!

**Kagayaku hikari ga terashi**

**Bokura wo ima yobi okosu**

**Tachiagari oto wo tate**

**Kizamu ano basho kara**

I'm… so… PROUD!

**Kesenai kizu ato kodoku to fuan yurete**

**Sonzai kara toozakaru**

**Soshite furueru senaka ni tsume wo tatete**

**Tashikameteru**

Must…resist…urge…

**Fukai zetsubou ga osou**

**Yami ni shizunda yoru demo**

**Inori sae todoku nara**

**Towa ni shinji tsuzuke yo**

Must…not…barge…in…

**Tashika na hokori wo mune ni**

**Bokura wa michibikareteku**

**Hane hiroge tobitatou**

**Tsuyoku egaita sora**

Must…find…way…to…show…appreciation…

**Kagayaku hikari ga terashi**

**Bokura wo ima yobi okosu**

**Hibikiau oto wo tate**

**Kizamu kono basho kara**

**Towa ni shinji tsuzukete**

Without…going…inside…

**Naki tsukareta jibun wo hanate**

**Inori wa ima tsuujiru sa dakara**

**Ugokidashita mirai he to susume**

**Michi wa hateshi naku tsuzuku mada**

**Nozomu nara te ni irero**

**Azayaka ni kagayaite iro**

……………… I CAN'T!

Next thing I knew, I had run into the classroom and snuggled Mine, tears practically streaming down my face.

" I'm soooooo proud of you!"

" Dad…I'm glad but…HUG ME AT HOME!" Mine pushed me away and out the door!

"Rule number 5 Asuran Zala: **Never love your daughter in public**…"

Shit, that scared me so bad! Muurue just popped up from behind the wall.

" Thanks for telling me now…"

* * *

Aura: Not so funny this chapter, but I promise the next one is a very funny!

Yzak: Yeah right!

Aura: I DON'T SEE YOU WRITING A STORY!

Yzak: THAT'S CAUSE YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!

Aura: YOU'RE ONLY SAYING THAT TO PLAY WITH MY MIND!

Yzak: NO I'M NOT IT'S TRUE!

Aura: ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU ACTUALLY LIKE ME!

Yzak: YES, I'M SAYING I LOVE YOU!

Aura: WELL, I LOVE YOU TOO!

**Yzak grabs her and kisses her.**

Miriallia: O.o WTF?

Dearka: They are the only two people I know who can argue and then make out!

Miriallia: Anyway, Aura will be putting in GSD characters in soon!


	6. Rule Number 6: Stripping and Blood

Aura: Hello all! I am back again! And this time I'm adding the ideas of the reviewers!

Reviewers: FINALLY!

Aura: heh heh… Anyway the song Mine was singing last chapter was Pride from Gundam Seed Destiny! It's my favourite one so I had to put it in!

Miriallia: OMG! For once you can actually announce the beginning of your story!…YOURSELF!

Aura: Hey! Anyway here's Chapter 6!

* * *

Wednesday. Half way through the week. I'm still alive. But only just. I have now to make the biggest decision of my life. To phone Cagalli. Or not to phone Cagalli.

I picked up the phone, shaking. I was beginning to regret this! But it had to be done! But…should I really bother Cagalli with any of this…well yes! Her daughter started her period! I have too! But maybe…just maybe, I could pretend I forgot to tell her! No that wouldn't work! She'd bust my ass! But maybe-

" Dad, are you actually gonna use that phone or not! You've been picking it up and putting it down for like, 10 minuets!" I looked up at Hiroshi! Has he been watching me this whole time? You mean, he has nothing better to do with his life than to stare at me making a phone call! Quick, I need to make him join the book club or something!

" If you keep that up, the person on the end of the phone is gonna put you in jail for prank calling!" I started at the phone. Cagalli's voice could just be heard screaming down the other end.

" IF YOU DON'T TALK TO ME SOON, I'M PUTTING YOUR NAME DOWN ON THE STALKERS LIST!" Oh crap! I put the phone to my ear. Which wasn't to smart!

" Cagalli?"

" Asuran, is that you?"

" Uh…yeah!"

" WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING!" Oooooowwww! Deaf! I've gone deaf!

" I'm sorry honey! I hadn't realised I'd dialled the number!"

"……………"

" Honey?"

"………… Asuran, have you been near any white powder recently…………"

" What? NO! I was just kinda nervous…"

" About calling me? Are you ok?"

" Not really! I hate you for something you said…"

" Oh, and what was that?"

" 'Lets start a family'!"

"…What have you done to our kids and why?" I really didn't like the way this was going!

" Well Mine started her period on Monday, Hiroshi had concussion and everybody keeps telling me rules about my daughter, Yesterday I gave a sex education talk, I chased Kanaye out of the house with a metal baton because he was making out with Mine, I made him memorize rules on dating Mine, Hiroshi has nothing better to do with his life than stare at me making a phone call and I've just realised that they are 20 minuets late for school!"

"……………"

Oh god…the silent treatment!

" ……………**ASURAN**!"

I am soooooo dead!

" I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR 3 DAY'S, **3 DAY'S**, AND YOU'VE SCREWED UP MAJORLY! EVERY SINGAL RULE IN THE BOOK HAS BEEN BROKEN BY ONE MAN!"

" Yes dear…"

" YOU ARE TERRIBLE! PROTECTIVENESS IS GOOD! DAUGHTER COMPLEXES ARE NOT! "

" Of course dear…"

" STOP AGREEING WITH ME!"

" Ok dear…"

" I 'M COMING HOME RIGHT NOW! "

" ……………I LOVE YOU CAGALLI!"

" I love you too!"

With that she hung up the phone! MY NIGHTMARES ARE OVER! I can't believe she's finally coming home!

" Hey dad, can Kiyoshi come over!" Hiroshi asked jumping up and down!

" Uh…isn't he at school?"

" No it's Staff training at SEED junior high!"

" Alright! Only if he doesn't bring Kanaye!" Right now, nothing could bring me down! Of course at this point in time Mine came downstairs. I picked up the phone to phone my secretary and tell her to put someone in my place again today. Suddenly Mine came downstairs

"Uh, Dad... "

"Not now Honey!"

"But it's important!"

"I said just a minute!"

" Well ok..." She walked to the window and pulled back the curtain.

"Is that Lunamaria? Is that Lunamaria on our lawn? IN LABOUR!"

"Oh, so now you wanna know!" Mine rolled her eyes at me. God the attitude on that girl is just like…Cagalli's'!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! I quickly ran outside. There was Lunamaria, breathing heavily.

" Hiroshi! Call an Ambulance!" I took of my shirt and gave it to Mine.

" Go wrap Luna in this! It's cold and she's wearing a Tank top! Oh wait!" I took off my pants.

" Take these too!"

" EEWWWWW GROSS! DAAAAAAAAD!" Mine covered her eyes and ran back inside! What? Hiroshi came running out.

" Mine stole the phone and-What the HELL are you doing!"

" They're for Lunamaria!"

" Rule 6 Asuran Zala: **Don't strip in front of your daughter**!" Hey! How come Hiroshi knows this but I don't! Luna screamed in pain! I turned around and ran to her!

" Hey, Lunamaria, It's ok, I'm here!"

" You're no help! You broke all the Father-Daughter Relationship rules!" Even Luna knows them! I sighed. It must be the agony of childbirth! I remember when Cagalli went into…I don't want to think about it!

"Mine is calling a doctor for you!"

"** IT WONT BE HERE IN TIME!** AND PUTS SOME CLOTHES ON!" Wah! Screaming, hysterical Luna! I turned and pulled my clothes on.

" THE BABY IS COMING NOW!" Hiroshi was panicking! Mine came out.

" The doctor will probably take about 20 minuets to get here!"

" That's too long! Mine, over the road there's a woman called Nozomi! She's the head of gynaecology or something like that! Go get her!" Stay calm, stay clam, stay clam, stay clam, stay clam, stay clam, stay clam, stay clam!

" 'Kay!" She ran off. Luna screamed but suddenly stopped.

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH DAD, DAD SHE'S DEAD! WE'VE KILLED HER!" Hiroshi ran around in circles having a complete fit.

" WAKE UP LUNA WAKE UP!"

"** I'M A WAKE YOU BAKA**!" Luna screamed back at him. God, my ears hurt! Hurry up Mine! Suddenly, in the distance, Mine came running with a young woman with long red hair.

" Nozomi Takanachi, head of gynaecology, please back away from the hysterically patient and get me hot water and blankets!" Nozomi pulled out a hair band and tied her hair in a high ponitail. I wasn't gonna argue, so I ran and got some hot water while Mine got blankets. I could just make out Luna's screaming and Hiroshi yelling.

" I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS!"

" Pipe down!"

" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I WANT TO GO HOME!"

" You are home!"

I ran out side with the water.

" Hiroshi, go sit inside!"

He ran inside and the wailing finally stopped! THANK GOD! But Luna let out the loudest scream possible. Crap, that girl can scream! Mine skidded to a halt beside me and threw down the blankets.

" I've called Shinn too! He's on his way!"

" **HE BETTER BE HERE SOON**!" Luna was not a happy bunny.

" Squeeze my hand Luna, squeeze my hand!" Oh God, she squeezed my hand all right!

" Ok, you're full dilated! Now after three, I want you to push ok? One, two, THREE!" She didn't so much push, as squeeze my hand to oblivion.

" OW! Damn it Luna! You have no IDEA how much that hurt!" Mine, Luna and Nozomi looked at me WEIRDLY. Oh yeah…Luna's giving birth here!

" One, two, THREE! Good girl, you're doing great! One, two, THREE! I can see the head! One, two, THREE!"

" _I can't_…!"

" Yes you can, one more! A big push, big push!"

" **I CAN'T**!"

" LUNAAAAAAAA!" Shinn came running! FINALLY! WHAT THE HELL TOOK HIM SO LONG! I had to suffer the pain for him! He took Luna's hand.

" Come on Luna you can do it!"

" One…two…THREE! You did! Lunamaria Asakura! Meet your baby daughter!"

Nozomi bathed the baby, cleaned out its mouth and handed her to Luna, who was at this point, crying hysterically.

" You did it Luna!" Shinn kissed his wife's forehead. I was gonna cry!

" Is that…blood…?" Mine asked faintly. Uh oh…No mine, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

" Uhhhh…" And she fainted…great! I picked her up and walked back inside leaving Shinn and Luna to their precious moment! I had to tell Cagalli when she got home…but first…sleep…

* * *

Aura: There you go! I hope it was funny for you guys! Some people wanted the Destiny Characters involved, so here! There are more to come though!

Rey: There better be!

Meyrin: Yeah! We've all been forgotten!

**Kiyoshi: The quiet one**

**Nozomi: Trust**


	7. Rule Number 7 and 8: Braking the broken

Aura: Hey, Hey, Hey! I'm back!

Yzak: **bored** Woopie doo

Aura: **sweatdrops** Sound excited man!

Yzak: Why should I!

Aura: Because…because…of this! **Grabs him and the make out session continues** (Mwahahahahaha sorry Imalittleteapot!)

Miriallia: Uh…On with the story?

* * *

I opened my eyes slowly. Something was learning over me something blonde…Cagalli? Nope, too short…Mine! I sat up wearily, my hand throbbing.

" Hey Mine, what's up?" I asked, rubbing my eyes with my hand.

" Your son has been in the Bathroom for the past hour!"

" Oh my God! What is he doing in there?"

" Well, we can rule out reading!" Well, there goes my Book Club plan! Leave to Mine to come up with an insult like that!

" Be nice too your brother! He's probably in shock! Or throwing up!" I got up and hastily went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

" Hiroshi? You in their Buddy?"

No reply.

" I'm coming in!"

I forced the door open to find him sucking his thumb in the bathtub! Which was half filed with cold water.

" Uh…Hiroshi?"

" Bad images, nasty images, scary lady, scary lady, we killed scary lady…"

Cagalli was soooooo gonna kill me for this!

" It's ok Hiroshi…I think I'm gonna take you too Kyoko Higashiro …do you know her?"

" Scary lady, lots of blood, screaming-"

" Guess not! MINE! I'M TAKING YOUR BROTHER TO THE PSYHCOLOGIST DOWN THE STREET!" I scooped Hiroshi out of the bath and moved to the front door. As soon as a pulled it open, a familiar figure with blond hair fell on top of me. I dropped Hiroshi and caught her.

" CAGALLI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" I just lay on the floor holding Cagalli. She looked up and smiled. GOD! I LOVE HER SMILE!

" I love you too Asuran-" I cut her off as I kissed her passionately. Completely ignoring Hiroshi who was spread out on the floor unconscious! She kissed me back. Oh how I missed this in the…3 days she was gone! Mine walked out of the lounge.

" Hi Mom! Welcome home-"

She saw us and screamed.

" **RULE NUMBER 7 ASURAN ZALA: _DON'T HAVE SEX IN FRONT OF THE DAUGHTER_!**" And she ran off upstairs shaking her head furiously. She slammed the door and locked herself in. Oh well, at that moment I didn't really care! Not while Cagalli was on top of me kissing me like this! Eventually we stopped to breathe.

" Cagalli, don't ever leave me again!" Hiroshi stirred next to me. He blinked and sat up.

" Daddy's kissing a clown…" He stated kinda slurred. Uh oh…

"…Hiro…did you just call me a clown?" Cagalli looked at her son, more in worry than anger.

" WAAAAH MOMMY TURNED INTO A CLOWN!" Uh oh! Cagalli had a very strange expression on her face.

"Hiroshi! Go sit in the car! "

"But, dad! We're at home!"

"GO SIT IN THE CAR!"

" Ooooooooookay!" He got up happily and walked into the door repeatedly, unable to figure out why he couldn't get outside! We sweatdropped.

" Just what exactly did you do to him?" Cagalli asked turning to me. Oh…crap…

" Tell me…" She glared at me darkly. I whimpered in the corner.

" I don't want to…" I squeaked. The evil aura (me: Hey! That's me! Yzak: Yeah, evil! Me: Shut up!) surrounding Cagalli was enough to make even Yzak cry! I ended up telling her everything about Lunamaria! Even the rule part! I just couldn't hold it in any more!

Silence reigned…

" Cagalli, honey?"

" DON'T YOU 'CAGALLI HONEY' ME!"

" Yes ma'm…"

" HE'LL PROBABLY NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!"

" I know ma'm…"

" I'M TAKING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW! AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE MY SLAVE FOREVER!"

" Ok ma'm…"

" Good boy!" She patted my head, smiled and dragged Hiroshi out to the car. I'M ALIVE! I'm so lucky to still have my life! Hopefully the 'Slave' part will be a good kinda slave like…a slave to her desires! That I don't mind! But it scares to think of something else.

" Yo, Mr Zala, why are you lying on the floor?" I looked up to see Kanaye.

" Uh…nothing! What are you doing here?" Ok so I was growling at him, but hey!

" Mine called!" Kanaye said leaning over me. Mine came downstairs and stepped over me.

" Dad, are you tied up there or something?"

" I can help you are! I'm great at undoing knots!"

"And hooks and buttons and snaps I'm sure!" I snapped. " Thanks, but I'm not!" I stood up and dusted myself off. Wait! Were they like going on a date or something?

" What are you guys doing? In the house! In the house!" Mine sighed at me.

" Dad, do you think I'll be more ready to date in like…a month!"

" No but I will! Now in!" I pushed them both inside and shut the door.

"Garden Kitchen and dinning room only! Living room if you really have too! But no funny stuff!"

" Ok, ok! We get it dad! Now go away!" Fine, I see I'm unwanted in my own family!

**Please don't go, no matter how much you scream, all it will do is quietly stir these orange petals.**

I walked over to the window and looked out at the night sky. Just how long have I been asleep? I looked up at the stars and I was over come by a strange feeling. Memories flashed by me. The day my mother died. The day Nikoru died. The day my father died. The day I first met Cagalli. That time when I fell in love with her. The time when we first kissed. All the arguments we've had. All the kisses we've shared. The day when she first told me she was pregnant. The day she went into labour and I first held our baby daughter. The next time she went into labour. When I first held Hiroshi. When I taught Mine to ride a bike. How she fell off and broke her arm! The time when Hiroshi first got concussion when he ran into the patio doors. I walked out to the back garden and stood in the breeze.

**Saved on my soft brow, I send the memories in my palm far away,**

" Mother…Father…look at me now. I have a family…you have grandchildren! I hope you're proud of me where ever you are…"

**An eternal farewell as I keep strumming.**

" They defiantly are…" I turned to see Cagalli, Kira, Lacus, Muu, Muurue, Shinn, Lunamaria, Miriallia, Dearka, Rey, Yzak and Meyrin. I smiled at them all and they smiled back. We all walked in together, our children running about, or gurgling in Rei Asakura's case. One things for sure, after everything we went though, we were so lucky to be viewing this perfect moment. And maybe, just maybe, I might consider another child…

" Asuran…"

" Yeah?"

"…I'm pregnant!"

I gasped in surprise! I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her softly.

" Rule number 9 Asuran Zala: **Sometimes, rules are ment to be broken**."

**Sending off the dawn's carriage,**

**Those orange petals are stirring somewhere even now,**

**The peaceful daybreak I once saw,**

**Until it is placed in my hands once more,**

**Please don't let the light go out,**

**The wheels are turning.**

We sat all sat together on the front lawn and watched as the Sun slowly began to rise. A new day had dawned. What adventures lay ahead and which paths to take were uncertain. But…we'd find out in time…

* * *

Aura: Sappy ending I know but…I couldn't help it!

Kira and Lacus: **Sobbing in each other's arms.**

Asuran and Cagalli: **ditto**

Miriallia and Dearka: **smiling at each**

Shinn and Luna: **snuggling each other and their baby**

Meyrin and Rey: **Also sobbing**

Yzak: **Asleep**

Aura: -- oh well! **Sobs too**

**Kyoko: Mirror.**

**Rei: Gratitude **


	8. About the sequel

Aura: Ok guys…**LISTEN UP! THIS IS IMPORTANT! **

Yzak: I think you got their attention!

Aura: Heh heh! Anyway! I'm going to make 2 more sequels! One is going to be Cagalli and her guide to teenage boys! But I need you to review me with some answers to the following questions!

1)What couple should I use in the next sequel!

2)Should they have twin daughters?

3)Do you think Rey and Meyrin should get married?

4)Are you paying attention?

5)Any request on another sequel? E.g.: Lacus's point of view, Kira's point of view?

6)And last, but not least, Should I make a character for Yzak to marry? Or should he marry one of my specialists I created?

Aura: If you could answer these for me, I would love you all forever!

Arigato!

Kurama'sgirlAura


End file.
